And Really Bad Eggs
by Daddy Elric
Summary: [AU][ONESHOT] They're a pair of devils, black sheep, and really bad eggs.... Ed and Roy are pirates, and their motto is: Take what you can, give nothing back. And they live by it.


We roleplayed this with Taisa. xD It was so cute! And so... ebil.. xD

**Pairing**: None! Bet you didn't see that coming! Though you could see it as RoyEd if you call appearing together a pairing.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own! The song is credited to _Pirates of the Carribean_, BTW.

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**AND REALLY BAD EGGS**

It was a bright, sunny day, the sea a beautiful turquoise. The sky was waterwashed blue, and there wasn't a cloud to be seen. People bustled around the port town of Dragonseye, (which was a lush, green paradise of a place), and examined boats on the dock. All were unaware of the events that were about to take place.

The sail bobbed up and down on the waves, small flag on the mast whipping proudly. Looking closer, a figure clung to the mast, its most prominent feature the large hat that sat atop its head. Even closer still: a blonde boy, looking no older than in his teens. He was wearing a longsleeved tunic, a white color that would make the washerwomen positively _blush _on washing-day.

And the fact that he was on a small boat, with a cutlass strapped to his hip and a gun in a holster snapped to the cutlass' belt... That made him a possible pirate. And that guess wasn't far off. In fact, it was dead on.

This person was blonde, with golden hair that he'd pulled back into a long, thick braid, tied with a small red ribbon. He wore large leather boots and a cream sash, one that was wrapped around his waist and knotted at the side.

Though they were not prominent beneath the hat, the boy had a pair of twitching, pointed furry ears sitting atop his head. A little more visible: the tail that went with them, which was flicking nervously each time a wave crested and splashed over the "deck", which wasn't even a deck (the boat was more like a canoe than a real ship. Just a wooden sailboat, so it had no real deck.) and the pair of furry paws he clung to the mast with.

This was Edward Elric, and he was a pirate.

He leapt down from the mast suddenly, boots splashing on the deck as he landed. "Augh!" No, siree, this pirate did _not _enjoy water. He immediately grabbed a bucket, and began bailing the water out, but it didn't do much. The hole in the hull was widening too quickly for him to do much, so he just shimmied back up the mast and clung.

When he finally reached port, the hull had completely sunk, and only a few feet stood between Edward and the dreaded wetness. He jumped off the mast, leaping to the boards that the port was obviously made of. He stood, darted around the port manager, who was staring at the boat and obviously looking for the owner, then snagged the small drawstring bag on the lectern near the account books that held the many fees for docking.

He was going to the bar. His partner was there, and he was hoping to discuss the... matter of getting a new ship. And it wasn't going to be stealing. Stealing was such a dirty word. What he liked to say was... they were going to _commandeer _it. Much more nice.

Edward strolled toward the pub, where he knew the other man would be. It wasn't hard to guess, after all. The guy did like the whiskey...

The place was dark, and smoky, much unlike the beautiful town it was situated in. As Edward stepped inside, a song met his sensitive ears:

_We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!  
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!_

It made Edward grin (these people weren't good at singing, but they belted out the lyrics with such vigor you just wanted to join in), but he just passed the group by. He had a purpose in coming here.

Ah, here he was, just the man he wanted to see. The other cat-man was sprawled back between two women, a blonde and a redhead. Edward didn't really care about the colors, but he knew what the black-haired man was doing, and grinned.

Roy didn't wear a hat, and that was because he was much too occupied with wooing idiots than wearing an accessory that just messed up your hair. His was silky, perfect for caressing, and his ears were the same color, as was his tail and were his paws. He was arrogant, self-centered, confident; he was the perfect thief, and the perfect partner.

"Oi," said Edward in greeting, seating himself and placing his hat on the table. "Having fun, are you, Roy?"

Roy smirked. "You could say that," he replied. He nudged the blonde woman beside him. "Ed, this is Grace."

"Grace, eh?" Edward slid his chair over a little, and Grace did the same, deciding it wasn't polite not to. "Live around here, do you?"

The blonde girl smiled, nodding. "A little farther into the town," she replied. Edward grinned once more. This was going to be too easy.

"Come to the pub a lot, then?" Roy was asking the redhead, who was stroking his ears. A purr here, an eartwitch there, the pair of girls were just eating it up. It couldn't be any simpler, really. They were just suckers for cuteness, which the pair of half-pint pirates had in excessive amounts. She was nodding, drinking up the deceit Roy had set out for her. Roy, on the other hand, was eyeing the necklace around her neck, and he scootched over to her, nuzzling her neck. He'd get that..

Edward noticed a small pouch attached to Grace's wrist, and she'd noticed it as well, as it'd slipped out of her sleeve and into perfect view of anyone who cared to look. It was velvet, and a beautiful purple shade. Edward knew that even the bag would be worth something, and there was bound to be money inside the thing. She put it away, however, and he pouted. There went his prize... To his surprise, however, she blinked, pulled the pouch out again, smiling and holding it out. "Did you want to see this?" It jingled slightly. Perhaps he was attracted to it.

Edward nodded, taking it slowly. He couldn't believe she was just going to hand it over... "What's in it?" he asked curiously, blinking up at her. C'mon, now. Cute. Cuuute. Drink it up, stupid girl.

And she did, miraculously. "A few coins," she replied. "Not much. The stores around here are cheap to ladies, and there's so many gentlemen around..."

Both Ed and Roy gave inward snorts. The girls were _looking _at the most villainous men in town and didn't even know it. But no matter; it was better that they didn't know. That just meant they'd have a better chance, after all.

"Maybe not," replied Edward. "The pair of us are new in town, so we've got no..." He trailed off as the blonde girl reached out a tentative hand, caressing his ears. Immediately the smaller of the pair relaxed as well and joined his partner in pleasure. "...no.. no idea," he finally finished, jingling the pouch to get himself out of his daze.

Grace nearly gave a squee. It was so cute! And he was so small and cuddly... and those paws were so adorable...

Ed lifted a brow. She was thinking something about him, he knew it. Eh, didn't matter. If she was thinking something, that meant he had time to peer around and look for other things he could swipe from her.

Suddenly, Grace stood up, with the redhead, whose name Roy had discovered (Anden). "We'd better be going," mumbled Grace. "Will you two be here later?"

Edward looked at his companion. Would they? "Erm.. What do you think, Mustang?"

Roy smirked. "Why not? Might as well. We've got some time to kill. Besides, Ed hasn't even ordered a drink yet!"

Grace and Anden both smiled, nodding and curtsying before trotting off. The cat-men stared after them for a moment, then looked at each other and grinned. "How much did you get, Roy?" asked Edward, pulling open the drawstring on the purple bag.

"This," replied the darker one, holding up a chain. Peering at it, Edward could see a cross dangling off the end.

"Is that all?"

"Yup. Better than nothing." Roy didn't really want to admit Edward had gotten more than he had in this little "exchange", even though it'd been split equally. Mustang Pride sort of deal. He saw it as a competition; Ed as a game. It didn't matter. Either way, Roy'd gotten less, and he didn't particularily like that.

"Yep," replied Edward, shrugging. He stood, gathering his things back up and pocketing them. "Shall we go? We've got to get us a new ship."

Roy gave his partner a sidelong look. "I blame that on you."

"It's not _my _fault it sank!"

"Oh, but it is. It was your job."

"Was not! We both looked it over! It's your fault too!"

Roy sighed, plunking his companion's hat on his head before beckoning. Edward trotted after him. "Y'know what, Mustang?"

"What?"

"I've got us a song."

And that day it was hard not to notice the pair of catboys wandering along the port, roaring at the top of their lungs:

_We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!_

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Well now, wasn't that exciting? xD


End file.
